A Month!...wow

I can honestly say that the last month of my life has been one of the most interesting ones in my entire life. It has been quite unique waking up every morning wondering if that would be "the day" that I find out. As you could guess, that's still how things are.

Looking back over the past month, I can honestly say that I have learned a lot....even though I haven't really done anything. I always knew that God loves to teach us patience, but little did I know that its not just patience, but trust.

It wasn't until recently that I began to grasp the true weight of Proverbs 3:5-6 which says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." It is verse 5 that blows me away. We are called to trust in the Lord with all of our hearts. Not only that, but we are also told not to lean on our own understanding. I have recited this verse over and over at different points in my life where I knew I needed to trust in God, but it wasn't until now that I fully realized the part about not leaning on our own understanding.

I know in my life, there have been many times where I have said that I was trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not leaning on my own understanding...but come to think of it, I don't know if I was. We all have the tendency to come up with a plan B if something doesn't work out so that we can at least know something won't completely fail. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but when we make back up plans, are we trusting in God in those plans as well??

The reason I say this is because this is the first time I have never had a back up plan. As I share my desire to go back to Northern Ireland to minister to the youth there, many people ask me the question "So if this all doesn't work out, what are you going to do?" I honestly respond, I have no clue! And that's the truth. This is when I began to realize that I finally wasn't trying to rely on my own understanding (especially because I usually like to have everything figured out).

Right now I am completely dependent on God because God has His own way and own timing on how He likes to do things, and this past month I learned more about that. It would have been way easier to get all the details figured out and turn right around to go back to Ireland, but that's not how God wanted it to happen. He wanted me to wait......He didn't want me to trust in my own understanding......He simply wanted me to trust in Him!!

That is a small glimpse of what God has been teaching me over the past month. I thank all of you for your prayers and support. I eagerly look forward to the day that I will be able to tell you I will be going back (which will hopefully be within the next week). But until then, and even then, I will be trusting in God BECAUSE "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it."!!!!!!!